I was born in Bradford, north-west England in 1994, to a Pakistani father; who converted from Islam to Christianity in 1996. It’s probably widely known by now that apostasy is punishable by death under a puritanical system. The consequences apostates from Islam face in western contexts though, is probably less known.
My siblings and I grew up, witnessing and experiencing constant verbal and physical reprisals: moving from school to school, bricks smashing through our property and car windows, fleeing our first family home in 2005 (attempted arson), expulsion from Bradford permanently in 2016 (attempted murder on my father’s life, resulting in 11 days of hospitalisation).
I started this platform in 2014. Tired of conflating information about my family in the media, which only increased the likelihood of us becoming local targets. Purists who knew of us but unaware of our faces or names, were now armed with images of us in our school uniforms in mainstream UK newspapers. The non-apostate kids suddenly became ‘just as bad’ as the apostate parent himself and school walks for the sisters, who went off to different schools and took different routes – became especially stressful , as we were easily shadowed in person and in cars by local Muslim men.
I needed to claim our story back for myself – tired of people who had their own agendas to satisfy – constantly invading our privacy to expose this unbelievable circumstance in 21st Century Britain, and manipulating our misery to satiate the egalitarian inclination of the day. Only to disappear and never return, leaving us to face fresh consequences of the humiliation the local Muslim community felt, in a culture crippled by honour and shame.
However the Hussain Family experience has been portrayed to the world , the fact remains that is an unbelievable story. It is unique. It is a circumstance from which my worldview has stemmed. I am not an apostate myself, nor I don’t camp there. However, since I have never encountered another non-apostate who has been forced to undergo the apostate experience, I think it’s crucial I pen it down.
This blog started out as a defiant blurt of the truth. Years of external oppression and internal suppression spilling out post after post. This blog was a contingency: I had convinced myself after years of depression that I would die, alongside my family, in our beds at any given day. I felt myself slipping into indifference but this platform was a final push toward rebellion. A ‘well even if you kill us, somebody’s bound to find this on the public domain’.
I now sit in China, plugging away at whatever God lays on my heart. I have moved away from the sole identity of being an Apostate’s daughter and have passions, ambitions and aspirations of my own. I don’t know how to succinctly explain this blog-site, other than to say that anything you find here is deliberate heterodoxy in a world encouraging conformity. And so, in this vein, anything you read here is radical, but within reason.
This story I have lived is greater than I – so in spite of my introversion – I choose to walk in my truth, for the Glory of His Kingdom. And for those who may just need a different perspective.